The tragic reality is that suicide is now the leading cause of death for Australian men aged 16-49, with the highest suicide rate among those aged 45-49, the age group I currently happen to fall into.
This sad statistic underscores that there is an urgent need for us to understand and address the contributing factors to why this is occurring if we are to reverse this trend or at the very least further open the conversation.
Suicide is a complex issue influenced by multiple factors. It's important to acknowledge the work of the many amazing organisations dedicated to this critical area.
Based on my personal observations, which I acknowledge does not reflect the experiences of all men, one of the most troubling trends I've noticed, both in myself and in many of my peers, is the pressure placed on men to prioritise our financial success and societal expectations over our physical health and well-being, relationships, and personal fulfillment.
It is easy to be judged by these “visible metrics” like wealth and possessions, such as income level, location of your home, the car you drive whilst neglecting the invisible but crucial metrics of a fulfilling life – being a good partner, father, friend, and maintaining our physical and mental health.
While acquiring wealth is a legitimate goal that may bring some men happiness, studies like the Harvard Study of Adult Development show that strong social connections, meaningful relationships, and pursuing what makes you happy, significantly contributes more to a person's long-term well-being.
I think many men, myself included, initially believe achieving visible metrics like financial goals will bring us ultimate happiness. However, upon approaching or reaching them, a common realisation sets in: the true fulfillment lies in the pursuit of these goals and experiences along the way, not the final destination.
While "it's about the journey, not the destination" is a common Cliche, maybe it holds true but it doesn't address the crucial question..
What if you're on the wrong journey altogether?
This for me, is the one key component that may underpin many of the issues, many men are experiencing.
Is this pursuit of these “visible metrics” in the hope that it will one day make us happy only to realise it often doesnt, come at the expense of these "invisible metrics" leading to divorce, breakups, isolation, emptiness, and potentially this increased suicide risk in men?
Instead, should we be encouraging men to prioritize their physical and mental health, pursue personal interests, grow strong social connections alongside careers, and build families and communities as well as businesses?
Suicide is a complex issue, and by having informed and open discussions, hopefully we can work towards creating a society that prioritises physical and mental wellness and ensures individuals have access to the support they need.
Please reach out for professional help or to a mate for a chat if you are struggling, and remember to check in on your mates as well – you never know how much a simple call or message may mean.